Greeneyedgoddess's Blog

{January 21, 2012} What’s in a word?

What is in a word?

Is it what you want?

Is it what you need?

Is it what you expect?

Is it what you desire?

Is it your future?

Is it joy?

Is it frustration?

Is it hurt?

Or maybe it’s your past?

Is it the way you feel? Is that permanent? Is it temporary?

What is in a word? Is it the same thing that’s in a name?

Is it something to grow into?

Is it a tradition?

Is it a representation of you?

What is in a word?

It’s YOU that i want. It’s LOVE that i need. It’s RESPECT that i expect.

It’s my desire to be ONE.

It’s the PARTNER of my future.

It’s the laughter we share that brings me JOY.

It’s the CHANGE in tone that shows my frustration.

It’s the tears you FAIL to see that show the hurt.

It’s the LIFE i try to leave in the past.

IT’S EVERYTHING.

It’s the dreams of HOPE.

It’s the POTENTIAL we have.

It’s the legacy we CREATE and the one created for us.

It’s the REFLECTION you see in the mirror that is a representation of me.

What’s in a word?

PLENTY.. but ULTIMATELY it’s defined by you.

{November 4, 2010} Day7-Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Dear Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush,

Dear Ex-Girlfriend,

It’s now approaching a year that you have been gone.. and I am still in shock. It seems like one of those times when we lose touch or i get mad for minute but, in the back of my head i know that i will never here your voice again or see your bright smile.. You were pretty freaking awesome!! A human…but awesome. I am so sorry that the weight of the world and all of it’s foolishness was too much for you. I sit and think how i could have changed it, fixed it, made it better for you because at all cost i would’ve done that for you to be here with us. Even though it’s an uphill battle your family makes it a little easier for me.. Nard calls me everyday to check on me and the children, I talk to your sister whenever she’s over… and before your mom passed a few months ago she told me how she felt like i was her other child, how much you loved me, how we should have stayed together and how much she loved me.. that made me feel good. Granny talked to me about all of the things we use to do and how she knew what was going on all along.. and that she loved me and she always wondered how and where i was. They tore her old house down E. Ontario… and that was another one of my ties to you..Terri sent me pictures. Thank god no one can erase the ones i have of you in my heart.. I still haven’t been able to tell the children.. It’s just too hard. Oh, and Terri calls and checks on me and told me how you spoke so highly of me.. Thank you… thank you.Because i know i was a spoiled brat at times.. but you made me like that!! I still don’t like when people who are in my heart call me by name.. because i’m so use to being called… you know.. so when they say my name it’s so weird! And it’s my name!! Oh and Chaka calls too!! You left so many people behind that do so many of the things that you did- So i have different pieces of you at different times. Sometimes i feel like people don’t understand me the way you did.. that could be because i was so young and open then. It’s so hard to allow people in completely- hell, i’m scared and that’s just it.. when you were alive even though you loved me still you would talk me down when i was mad.. about you know who.. lol.. that is love. You did a couple of things but you loved me through everything and everyone.. I miss you so much but all of the little things that i have of/from you.. i cherish. I smile and i think about what you would say to me if you were here. I still have days of tears for your life, your family and my life without you.. I probably always will.. My bond with you was like no other!

I love you Meka…

Rest in love..

Your physical body is gone but your spirit watches over me..

{November 3, 2010} Day 6- Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger,

Even though i know i don’t know you.. the stare that you are giving me makes me feel like i have experienced you on an intimate level. When your arm brushed against mine and sent a wave of goose bumps crashing over my body… that feeling that you accidentally, purposefully created- you couldn’t be a stranger. Maybe in our last life you created more than goose bumps.. maybe it was heartbreak that you created or a family.. Maybe it was a life of love that we chose and created together. But who will ever know.. because right now you are just a stranger staring through me.

{November 3, 2010} Day 5-My Dreams

Dear Dreams…

Sorry about the delay.. but reality got in the way. It’s nice to see how you waited so patiently on me and I am enjoying how you are becoming more and more comfortable with the plan. So i will say thanks for being my dreams.. but it’s getting so much better now that you are becoming a reality!<3

Owww….

{October 31, 2010} Day 4-My Sibling

Dear Sibling…

Girl.. Girl.. Girl.. You are such a wonderful tistah’ and I love you soooo much. You play so many roles in my life that it’s

too many to name but I will say this.. You were born my sister but the person you are made you my friend!!! I love you

so much my rock, creative, inspiring, motivating, funny-witty, undeniably beautiful and smart sister!!

{October 30, 2010} Day Three- Your Parent

Dear Mom and Dad.. Lol

First I want to say to my Mother thanks for choosing life when I know that things were hard during that time.. I want to

say when I was a child I always thought I’d grow up and do things totally different from how you raised us.. But since

the day I found out that I was pregnant I have done nothing but take all of your wonderful ways and patterned my

parenting behind them. Thanks for the foundation of religion that you raised me with and more importantly the gift of

spirituality that you introduced me to when the box of religion I had out grown. Thanks for coming to help take care of

me and my little ducklings when I was sick! (Most recently a couple of weeks ago!!) Thanks for being my friend,

my confident, my sounding board, the pain in my neck, the voice in the back of my head and my mommy!!!Thanks for

choosing to stay. Which as a parent is the first step in showing a child that you care and not all parents choose their

children. More importantly knowing that parenting a child doesn’t stop when they turn eighteen for we will always be

the child. To my “Dad”… S/O for the donation of the life germ! Deuces!!

{October 28, 2010} Day Two-My Crush

Dear Crush…

We both know that there was an unspoken spoken something between us.. And that can never be taken away from us. We shared a lot-Remember the sci-trek situation?? Those were the days of the sci-trek crew and some of my favorite memories. My first valentines day at the library.. I NEVER WOULD HAVE EXPECTED THAT!! (thank you) That night at the park! LOL. I was sooo scared but somehow you made me feel comfortable and free. You were someone very special to me as you will always be but today I let you go and keep you as my childhood crush!!

Chow!!

{October 27, 2010} Day One-Best Friend

Dear Best Friend..

Hey YOU!! You know I really wanted to let you know that you are a friend like no other. You inspire me! You comfort

me,push me, pull me, deal with my silliness, my madness and you are okay with who I am at all times.. Even at times

when I am not. I never would have guessed that you and I would ever be so close but now I can’t imagine us ever being

apart. You are something beyond my friend and this letter could never encompass all of the ways that you are a true

best friend forever.

{October 26, 2010} 30 Letters in 30 Days.. Can you handle the truth??

I heard about this challenge through my sister and thought.. this is something that I want to do. It makes you take a look inward and ask yourself and the world “can you handle the truth”? Well this is my truth..

The 30 Day Letter Challenge

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

{October 3, 2010} “You”

In this world there are hundreds of soul mates that are for us…

But I only want to love you. Surely my heart is broken but so am i when you are not around.

Of all of the mysteries in the world you are the one that I can’t seem to figure out–

Yet you can see through me so clearly…

This feeling that I am experiencing in my belly is because of you.. and you have no idea that it even exists.

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